Things Don't Have To Be This Way
by Crazyindaze
Summary: Takes place when Jimmy and Brooke are engaged. Jimmy realizes his true feelings for Kim.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of it's characters.

* * *

Kim was in bed trying to fall asleep. But she wasn't having much luck. For some reason she was really awake. She looked over at her clock. It was almost three in the morning. She was about to close her eyes and try to get some sleep when she heard some one knocking on her door. She sighed deeply and got out of bed to answer the door. Kim opened the door and was surprised to see Jimmy standing on the other side. He was probably here to tell her how happy he was with Brooke. She was so sick of hearing about Brooke. That was all Jimmy talked about. And even worse, he was asking her advice on some of their wedding details. It made her want to gag. She stopped complaining to Bobby about this. He always told her that she must still have feelings for Jimmy if this bothered her so much. But she knew Bobby was wrong. Jimmy had screwed her over so many times. There was no way she could still love him. It just wasn't possible.

"Hey Kimmy," Jimmy said softly. He saw that Kim was surprised to see him. He couldn't blame her. He was always talking about how happy he was with Brooke. Which wasn't true. Brooke was great, but she just wasn't Kim. He was stupid to think that he could get over Kim. No matter how happy he was with Brooke at first. But all he could seem to think about was Kim. When he was with Brooke, he saw Kim's face and heard her voice. He just couldn't deny it anymore. Kim was the one that he wanted. And she'd be the only one he wanted. That's all there was too it.

"What do you want Jimmy?" Kim asked trying to act tired. She didn't want Jimmy to know what she was thinking. That would just cause a fight and he'd think she still wasn't over him. But she was over him. She knew she was.

"You. I want you," Jimmy replied. He saw the skeptical look on her face. He knew he'd have to prove to her that he really did love her and that he wasn't going to mess things up this time. He wasn't going to lose her. He just couldn't. He loved her too much to let her just slip away from him.

"Jimmy, I'm tired and I'm not in the mood to deal with your crap right now. It's late and we both have work in the morning. I think it'd just be best if you left," Kim retorted trying to sound both convincing and strong at the same time. But she knew it wasn't working. You could just hear it in her voice that she didn't want him to leave. She really didn't. She was so stupid to want Jimmy back. Why couldn't she just get over him? It shouldn't be this hard to get over him, especially after all he's put both her and Joey through. She just couldn't help it. She really did love him and she hated that she didn't want to hide it anymore.

"Kimmy, please. Can we at least just talk? That's all I'm asking. I just want to talk," Jimmy pleaded. He was not wiling to leave. He couldn't. Not until he knew how she felt for him. He could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice. She didn't want him to leave. She wanted exactly what he wanted. He just needed to get back her trust.

"Fine, come on in. But we have to be quiet. Joey's still asleep. I don't want to wake him," Kim replied and moved over to let him in. They both sat down on the couch. Jimmy too Kim's hand in his and she quickly pulled it out of his. She couldn't go down this road again. She just couldn't. Jimmy always told her that he had changed and that things would be different, but it never happened. He always found some way to hurt her. But the worst was when he slept with her sister. She still wasn't talking to her sister because of that. Her mom was so stressed over that. Her mom always had to plan their visits so she and Mel wouldn't run into each other. She felt so bad for things getting like that, but she didn't want anything to do with her sister. She had hurt her so bad when she slept with Jimmy. That was just unforgivable. She probably would never be able to get over it. She tended to not forgive people easily. She had too many trust problems. But it wasn't her fault. Too many people had stabbed her in the back. She just didn't want to go through any of that again. She wasn't strong enough to deal with all that pain, no matter how much she loved Jimmy.

"I know I haven't been showing it lately, but I still love you Kim. I never stopped. You're all I think about. You're all I want to think about. I thought I was over you, but I'm not. I don't love Brooke. I don't want to be with her. It's you I want," Jimmy said. The words just came out so fast. He wanted to ease into it, but it was too late now. She didn't look like she wanted to be with him. But it was so hard to read her expression. He's never seen this one before. She used to be so easy to read. But she has changed a lot. He could see it each day. It looked like a part of her was missing and was replaced with some type of fake happiness. She was trying way too hard to look happy. He hoped it was just that she wanted to be with him. But a part of him worried that it was Bobby she wanted. She and Bobby had slept together. And it was after he was with Treva that she got like this. He just really wanted her back. He missed having her. He missed waking up with her in his arms. He missed her and Joey and them being a family. He just wanted her back. He wanted everything back to normal, like when they were married. Things were great when they married. At least up until he slept with her sister. That was the biggest mistake of his life. He wished he could just take it all back. He hated himself for the longest time when he saw how hurt she was. It was like he had taken her life away. And in a way he had. He took away her family. But he had changed and he wanted to fix all of that.

"Jimmy, I just can't be with you again. I can't. I don't want to go down this road again. All I ever do is get hurt. I miss being with you too and I still love you. But I can't just forget all of the things you've done to me. I just don't want to get hurt again," Kim answered quietly. She looked into Jimmy's eyes. He looked so depressed. But she wasn't looking to keep him happy. She was just trying to avoid being hurt again. She loved him, but not enough to put her and Joey through that type of pain again. She wasn't strong enough to go through it again. She just wasn't.

"I know I've said that I changed so many times. And I know that you're getting sick of hearing me say it, but I really have changed this time. I promise you I have. I won't hurt you again Kim. I love. Please just give us another chance. I promise you things will be good this time. They will be better than they've ever been. Just give me another chance. I won't screw things up this time," Jimmy replied hopeful. He really did want her back. He just hoped she'd be able to get over the past and give him another chance. He'd do whatever it took to show her that he meant every word he's said tonight.

"I just don't know Jimmy. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to get Joey's hopes us for us to not work out. I just don't know right now," Kim said. She put her head in her hands and sighed deeply. This was harder than she thought. Why did she have to love him so much? Why couldn't she just get over him? This was just too much for her to take right now.

"Kimmy, please. Just give us a chance. You know you feel the same way I do. Just admit it Kim. You know you still love me and you know you want us to be together again," Jimmy replied softly. He looked into her eyes. She looked so conflicted. He felt so bad for putting her through this. He could tell that this was hard for her, but he could also tell that she wanted everything that he wanted. Jimmy gently placed his hand on Kim's face and leaned in to kiss her. He was surprised when she didn't pull away. Instead she deepened the kiss. He was just so happy that this was actually happening.

TBC…


	2. Chapter Two

Kim pulled away from Jimmy. She couldn't believe that he was saying all of this, but she's heard it all before. Every time she gives him another chance, he hurts her even worse than the time before. How could she trust him? She couldn't just take him back and pretend that nothing happened. She also had to think of Joey. She knew that Joey wanted her and Jimmy to get back together more than anything. She just didn't want to get Joey's hopes up again just to bring them back down again. Her and Jimmy never worked out. He always did something to break them up. She just didn't know if she could go through this again.

"I just really don't know about this Jimmy. I really don't want to get hurt again. I've heard all of this before. You always screw me over. I can't keep putting Joey through this either," Kim said. She was so exhausted. She just wanted to go back to sleep and forget about everything Jimmy had said.

"I know I've said this all before Kim. I really have changed this time. Brooke is a great person, but she's not you. I never got over you and I hate that I put you through so much pain. Things really will be different this time. I promise I won't hurt you this time Kim. I love you so much. I just can't be without you anymore," Jimmy replied softly. He looked into Kim's eyes again. She looked so torn. He knew that this was hard for her and that it was hard for her to trust him again. He really wouldn't let her down this time. She had to know that. He really did love her, more than anything. He would never be able to get over her.

"I really want us to work Jimmy. I'm just so tired of giving you chances. You say this every time. Then you always hurt me. I can't go through this again Jimmy. I'm just not strong enough for you to hurt me again. You know that I love you. I always will. I just can't keep hoping that you really did change when really, you didn't," Kim sighed. This was just so hard. She wanted to be with Jimmy again so bad. She just couldn't take the pain that was involved with taking him back. She wanted more than anything to believe that he's changed. She really did. He sounded so sincere, but he always sounded like this. He was telling her the same old lines.

"I want us to work too Kim and I know we can. I really have changed. I'll do whatever it takes to prove to you I've changed. I promise you I will. I want us more than anything. I won't screw things up this time Kim. I just can't lose you again," Jimmy said desperately. He really didn't know what else to change. She already had her mind made up about him. He couldn't blame her though. She's given him so many chances and every time he always threw them away. He really did change this time. He just wouldn't be able to lose Kim again. He knew that if he screwed up again there wouldn't be any more chances. If she did take him back, this would be his last chance. He wouldn't disappoint her this time.

"I just need some time to think about this Jimmy. This isn't a decision I can make in a couple of minutes. I just really don't know what to think right now. You're engaged to Brooke and you're at my place telling me you love me and want me back. How do you think Brooke is going to feel about this?" Kim asked quietly. She leaned back on the couch. She was even more tired then she was before. This was taking a lot of energy out of her. Jimmy always took all of her energy. He always knew how to take her out of a good mood and make her so angry.

"I can understand that you need time to think about this Kim. I'm not rushing you. You have all the time you need to think about this. And Brooke isn't happy that I'm over here telling you that I love you and want you back. I already broke thinks off with her. She knows that I'm over here. I told you that I've changed and I have. I can't be with Brooke when I know that I don't love her the way that I love you. It wouldn't be fair to her," Jimmy answered. He saw the look of shock on Kim's face. He was shocked when he decided to tell Brooke that they were over and that he wanted Kim back. Brooke really wasn't happy about that. He felt bad for hurting Brooke, but it wasn't fair to her. All he could think about was Kim. He cared about Brooke, he just didn't love her.

"You really told Brooke. I thought you would have waited until you saw how this worked out," Kim said still in shock. The Jimmy she knew wouldn't have told Brooke about any of this. Maybe he did change. She just still needed to think things through before she gave Jimmy an answer. This was a hard decision to make. It wasn't easy at all. She really did still love Jimmy. She just wasn't sure if she could trust him again. Things always ended badly between them.

"Yeah, I told her. I really have changed Kim. I know that it's hard for you to see that I've changed. I can't really blame you after all that I've put you through," Jimmy said. He kissed Kim softly on the cheek and left. He knew he had to let her think. He just hoped it wouldn't take her too long. He just wanted her back in his arms. He loved her so much. It hurt that she didn't believe him. He had only himself to blame for this. He was the reason Kim was so screwed up when it came to men. He wasn't going to screw things up this time though. He would show Kim that he was serious and that he really has changed. He didn't care what it'd take to prove this to her.

TBC…


End file.
